Yes, so

I've abandoned this blog. I'm sure I'll come back to it at some point. But Wordpress is so much prettier...
If there's anyone out there who only reads this blog, and does not follow me on Twitter or listens to one of my many podcasts, I'm now in charge of a fully-functioning podcast network. This one, in fact. All my free time goes into that site and the shows and content we've been producing. I urge anyone reading to give them a go. Podcasts aren't as scary as they sound, you know.
So we started with the one podcast, which was based around film & TV, but other things kept slipping in. So Art Crap and Vidjagames! were born, I bet you can guess what they're about, right? And my cousin's drawing a webcomic series which will also be hosted on pleasetellme.net. I hear webcomics are all the rage nowadays.
Anyway. It's been fun. Visit the site, enjoy it and tell your friends. See ya.

Pete

This music is piercing my skin. I lie half-awake in the corner of a dingy night club in a foreign country. The bass shakes my limbs. The rising tempo quickens my heart. I feel helpless and alive.
Jeremy said this place was good. I turn my head to the left, I see people like me, people not relaxed, but stewing. Stewing in this mass of noise and bodies. They appear less panicked than I feel. I want to stand, but everything's so heavy. I remember the phone call I made to my sister this morning. I came here to get away from the emotion, but in this place everything is bigger than life.

"Carmen. She said her name was Carmen. I'll never forgive her."

"Good. Does it help, to talk?"

"No. I want to leave."

"Leave."

Pete leaves. He doesn't go back. He takes the same road home he always does. There are sheep on the road, he pushes the horn and they scurry through the hedge. He almost forgets to continue driving, the solitude of country roads make time seem meaningless. He fights back tears, and accelerates.

He pulls into the driveway, hears the gravel crunch under the tyres. He parks, and exits the vehicle. He sees a pale figure at the end of the lawn. The figure isn't there. Nobody is. Nobody comes this far out of town, especially this late at night. Pete blinks. The figure remains.
"Hello?" he asks.
The figure doesn't respond. Doesn't move even. A strange glow surrounds the figure. The car's lights go out. Although there are no other sources of light, no lights on in the house, an empty sky, the figure is still visible.
"Hello?" Pete asks, again, "Can you hear me?"
The figure turns. The figure is Pete.
"Hello?" Pete asks, "Can you hear me?"
Pete doesn't know how to respond.
"What..?"
"What..?"
Pete rushes to the door, scared, and grasps his keys, fumbling with the lock. Pete watches. Pete is inside, now. He slams the door and reaches in the dark for the light switch. The room is illuminated. Pete is sitting at the table. He sees Pete enter in a hurry, and smiles.
"Hello Pete. Welcome home. Dinner's on."
Pete sees Pete sitting at the table. He notices the table is laid for four. Pete is standing over the oven. Pete flushes the toilet upstairs. Pete stands frozen.
"Pete?"
Pete stutters. He drops to his knees.
"Pete? Are you okay?"
He mumbles and shakes.
"Pete. Are you okay?"
He lays down. His breathing slowly returns to normal.
"Pete?"
"Yes Pete?"
"Am I.. dead?"
"No Pete. I'm not dead."
"No. I can see that. Am I dead though?"
"No Pete. I'm not dead."
Pete is upstairs. He gets into bed.
Pete stands up. "I'm tired. Can I have a glass of milk?"
Pete gets Pete a glass of milk from the fridge, hands it to him.
Pete takes a sip. "Thank you, Pete."
"No worries, Pete. Pete's just made your bed up in the guest room, if that's okay with you?"
"Cheers Pete. Goodnight."
Pete climbs the stairs. Pete watches on. Pete feels the soft carpet under his bare feet, brushes open the door in the dark, feels around for the bed, and climbs in.
"Night Pete."

Carmen

click.
"Hi.. Jenny?"
"Pete, is that you?"
"Yeah."
a pause.
"What's up?"
"I… I'm sorry for not calling."
"That's fine. What's up?"
"It's Lucy. She's.. gone."
"The lesbian?"
"Don't call her that."
"She left her wife for you. Her wife. She was married to a woman. That doesn't mean anything to you?"
"She's… she told me her new girlfriend is called Carmen."
"Carmen, what kind of a stupid name is that?"
"I really don't know. I just don't feel myself now she's gone."
"Weren't you only together for a couple of months?"
"Three months. And… eight days, I think."
"Brother, you're sad."
"I know."
a pause.
"I need to tell you something."
"What?"
"I'm Carmen."
"You're what?"
"Carmen."
a pause.
Pete hangs up the receiver.

"I don't give a fuck what he thinks about politics! He's an artist!"

We decided to be a part of history, and this is what happened.

Please tell me you're human episode 0.5: Election Special

What the hell is that creepy laugh? dammit. Something's afoot. Welcome to episode 0.5 of Please Tell Me You're Human this time featuring all three hosts Ben, Jack and Story! Tonight we're covering Channel 4's alternative election coverage. How original. After Jack's drunken mother sabotages the first three attempts, the show gets off to a slightly garbled start, with a bit of swearing and impatience.

Our heroes soon tire of the election coverage however, and drift off subject. We learn Charlie Brooker's real name, how annoying Edwina Currie really is, and just how tasty Disaronno is too. We then delve into the murky depths of Story's political tastes. Good old Tory Story did indeed vote Conservative, just because he wanted to be different and edgy. He has a rant. We might make ranting a prominent feature. Dictators don't deliver on their promises? Genius. And then Story slags off the immense power of Facebook and then denies being a, well, profanity. He also determines the percentage of the population who are in fact the same profanity. After a slight hiccup, we're back, trying to harmonise. We soon realise this is a bad idea. Ben lets us know his stance on politics, (Lib Dems!) although he believes firmly in the Socialist/Trade Union party. He also voted for our Green Party councillor and explains the voting process to Story. We also discuss the merits of ticking or crossing your ballot paper. We then dissect Jimmy Carr, who is pretty average when you think about it. We also realise the futility of making a live report on a live report on a podcast. Nick Griffin appears, but then disappears soon. We don't get the funny funny joke. We mention Twitter. Ben gains 60 years for about two seconds. We check the BBC's coverage and determine it is much more useful. Ben explains some more politics. 326 seats or something. Story is sarcastic. Jack demands a political standpoint. Although he didn't vote, because he's too disorganised and is in France at the time of recording. We also discuss the merits of a hung parliament: happy peace and nice, yeah? We're either going German or going Greek. Scary stuff. Story shows his general apathy. Ben's TV breaks, and none of us can see the coverage any more. Oh well. Story reveals that politics is the ONLY area in which he is not a master. Jack reveals an interest in gay rights, and Ben does something shocking. Story considers covering It's Raining Men. We compare ourselves to Doctor Who. Ben is moving in his chair. We.. don't know why. Story laments; he has no furniture. We discuss our general dislike of coffee.

Stuff happens. Hopefully this'll give you a taste.

I'll get back to proper blogging soon. This podcast is taking up all my time, and I'm loving it. By the way, I made a blog for that, too. http://pleasepodcastme.tumblr.com

Lounge

A woman who looks like she enjoys running face-first into brick walls holds the hand of a slicked-back schmoozer, fingertips at her waist, caressing, enticing her towards the plate glass doors of John Lennon airport's VIP lounge.
He teases and beckons, whispering lies and perfect half-truths, and she's loving it. She feels special.
He feels empty.
This is the fourth time for him. Second for her.
They both know what's coming to them in the dark corners of the lounge.
As they spill into the room, they stand frozen, all eyes upon them. They hear barely disguised laughter, jibes and hushed voices.
Heads down, they head to the man's reserved alcove.
She unbuttons his shirt. He undoes her bra.
She stops. Silence.

then--
          "What?" he asks, eyes wide

                   "You're wearing a vest?"

                                  She leaves.
                                                    He stays.

"Please tell me you're talking to a human being..."

So we decided (or I decided) to finally actually try recording a podcast test last night, and it turned into over an hour's worth of rambling. Although the audio setup took me bloody ages to work out, I'm pretty impressed with the results. If anyone wants to give this a serious go, get in touch! (Although Ben, we're going to work on these when I get back from France next week!)
This took 1hr 30 to record, and three hours to edit. Damn... we do sound a bit less thick though.

Please Tell Me... test #1
2010: A Podcast Odyssey featuring Jack and Story

We discuss podcasting, Kick Ass, Iron Man 2, Doctor Who, Twitter and Tweets, Perez and Paris Hilton, sex noises, Emoticons, Story offends Asia, Blogging, Star Wars and "literally killing small children", Indiana Jones, sound systems, sleeping your way to wealth, comic books, Firefly, BEING REJECTED BY SOCIETY, Watchmen being a proper book, Sci-Fi, Avatar, 90210, soaps, macs being better than PCs, food, sore earphones, the opposite of comfort, pop shields, the Logitech vs. Apple debate, Sony and China, Fallout and the end of the world, Terminator, 2001: A Space Odyssey for a very long time, House of Sand and Fog, then back to 2001, then Story does a quick explanation of the film, then Wayne calls, then back to 2001, ascension, seeing things in the dark, "space is just infinite", noise in space, wrapping up, Wayne gets confused, what're we gonna call this?, 2010: a podcast odyssey LAME, "please tell me you're talking to a human being". I dunno. Make your own mind up.

If you could listen to this, I'd like feedback. Obviously more focus would be nice. But yeah. Help. Thanks.

I kinda find I like a life this lonely

Guys! I failed the audition spectacularly. Forgot my lines, mumbled a lot, and actually tripped over at one point. It was shocking. Perhaps more shocking, The Manchester College told us that they'd fallen out with Manchester University, who were previously funding the place and presenting the diplomas at the end of the course. So, after being kicked out of Manchester Uni, College ran over to Leeds Metropolitan University and now, I would have been awarded a nice shiny piece of paper signed by them. Which, let's face it, is a step down from Manchester University.  (I'm not denying that I'm probably not cut out for the Acting in Media course over there. It's probably a very good course. Just not for me. [Or anyone who ever wants a job ever.]) Oh, and everyone else did really grand, pompous Shakespeare speeches. I'm a fool for trying to find a character which would reveal something about my life, personality, whatever. There were some shockingly bad actors there, and I can't really say much because I forgot my lines. There were also some semi-decent actors there, who were all called back for a little interview at the end. And I'm not going to mention equal opportunities or anything, but...

And then there's this Radio Production And Media Studies course over at Chester University, Warrington campus. And as I'm interested in all this audio editing, live broadcasting and podcast stuff (although I've never actually done any of it), this course seems much, much more interesting and stuff. Stop typing stuff.

Pretty much since failing the audition (they didn't tell me on the day that I'd failed. I knew.) I've been doing pretty much nothing. Work have given me a free three-week paid holiday (not just me. all the staff. I just wanted to make it sound better.) so I'm going to TRY and buy a decent microphone and actually do something with all the spare time.

I'm going to do a review of an album soon. Be warned. This album has inspired me since I first heard it. Probably about four and a half years ago, I think. How To Destroy A Relationship by The Servant. Somehow, it's one of the few shiny albums that I haven't yet forced down my friends' throats.

I'm going to get my hair cut. I'm going to try something new and different. But I'll probably end up with the same hair again. Then I'm off to Glasgow with @OiCecil and @boojamin to see trendy band Crystal Antlers. Don't ask.

Tuesday

Although I'm likely to be sued for this blog post (I'm guessing somewhere in the £200,000 region), this is the extract from Chatroom which I will be auditioning with on Tuesday. Oh yeah! I'm going to Manchester, got an audition at Manchester college on Acting for Theatre, Television and Radio (sounds awful) and an open day at Manchester Metropolitan on Wednesday.

aha. I do not claim any ownership of this text blah and blah.
Jim is a troubled teenager who pretty much wants to kill himself, and goes to an online chatroom for some support. After some funny exchanges, a dude called William tries to convice Jim to kill himself. Laura is a girl who tried to kill herself a while ago, and has been trying to put Jim off the whole idea. Because, let's face it, it's pretty silly. This bit is basically William shouting at Laura near the end of the play. You'll be able to grasp the rest.

WILLIAM: You've tried to kill yourself before, but chickened out, haven't you? You think I'm going to allow Jim to be lectured by some whinging coward like you? Some New Age, happy-clappy princess? Jim's got real problems.
You're one of those sad girls who hangs out in suicide chatrooms. Who sits there like some black hole. All silent and dumb and soaking up the sad stories. Wallowing in other peoples' pain. What statement are you making, bitch? You talk about a life of possibilities, choice, love, happiness... but I bet you'd like nothing more than a bunch of sad, morose fifteen-year-olds draining on about their pathetic lives. Well, why not support those who want to kill themselves? Why not allow them to do it? They're like the front line, aren't they? The public face of our gloom, printed in the papers and shown on the telly! They need our support to do the brave thing - do the decent thing. To get rid of the chaff and make a true revolutionary teenager! So do the decent thing, you worthless cow! Next time, don't cry out to Mummy and Daddy! Just do it!

mhm, it's probably not long enough, but with enough dramatic pauses I'm sure I can make it work. The play is by Enda Walsh, and is an okay read (although at 38 pages and full of printing errors, I think £9 is a little cheeky).

My second monologue (I should have learnt these months ago. The audition is in three days.) comes from Much Ado About Nothing. I only found it tonight, so wish me good luck.

BENEDICK: O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak but with one green leaf on it would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the Prince's jester, that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her; she would infect the North Star. I would not marry her though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed. She would have made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her. You shall find her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some scholar would conjure her, for certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so indeed all disquiet, horror, and perturbation follows her.
Will your Grace command me and service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on: I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furtherest inch of Asia: bring you the length of Prester John's foot: fetch you a hair off the great Cham's beard: do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three words conference with this Harpy: you have no employment for me?

This is also slightly too short, but whatever...
Thanks for any Shakespeare recommendations, and I swear I really did try acting some of them, but I chose this as it's not quite as grand as other pieces (and here I'm talking specifically about the St. Crispin's Day speech) and it's comedyish and all that. yeah.

And we'll all float on alright

This was an amazing gig, back in December. We were standing right in front of where this guy's filming from, and you can't see any of us in the video! Ah well. This is one of the only songs where the crowd actually moved about a bit. It was really chilled until they played this, which was followed by Shit Luck. We started a mosh pit. How young and trendy are we?

Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong

I lost count how many times I've edited this post. I've been ill.
Firstly, relationships. Let's get this one out of the way. This is some dialogue from The Squid And The Whale, a film which makes me feel pretty lucky to have married parents.

Sophie: [about The Metamorphosis, by Franz Kafka] Yeah. I mean, it's gross when he turns into the bug, but I love how matter of fact everything is.

Walt: Yeah, it's very Kafkaesque.

Sophie: [She looks at him oddly and laughs] 'Cause it's written by Franz Kafka.

Walt: Right. I mean, clearly.

I love this. I burst out laughing. Unfortunately, I'm sleeping with someone who just doesn't get jokes about literature. Another example in a recent episode of Shameless, which he made me watch (it's actually alright), two of the chav teenagers get kidnapped by a drug dealer crazy woman, and she makes a little joke, "Sorry for going all Papa Fritzl on you." which I, of course, being the media-savvy evil bastard that I am, found this pretty funny too. He laughed when a character tripped up in a later scene. What the hell am I doing? I don't want to sound like an arrogant prick. Because, I do sound like an arrogant prick. I don't have anything in common with this guy. As I sort of outlined in a previous post, I want someone who is fucking intelligent. O, Carlisle.

I'm sounded very elitist and superior and that. Ah well. Need to learn to say no, sometimes.

Secondly, crying. I have never cried for this guy. I have for John, Jonny, and even Chris. But this guy, none of that. I just want rid of him. He makes me happy, yes, but I get bored. I should stay single until uni. He won't read this, but he deserves to. He hasn't done anything wrong, he's just not right. Wait. I was meant to be writing about crying. Crying. I cried at House Of Sand And Fog last night. It was very, very upsetting. I'm not sure where the love of depressing films comes from. Watching something that you know will upset you being ultimately rewarding? I don't get it. I did really, really enjoy it though. Odd. Nothing much happens in the film. Then, suicide, prison and depression. Works a charm.

I'm still on crying, here: I think the last time I posted was on a Sunday. The following day, I bumped into Chris, the plain boring dude I'd been with for over a year. This was August 2008 to October 2009, on and off. I'm still not over him. I have no idea why. There are literally no good things about this guy. He's just so meh. We arranged to meet up on the Tuesday of that week. I'd convinced myself we'd be getting back together. He stood me up. I was slightly devastated. I have since realised that I was being a complete fool, so that's all fine. Around 7PM on the day he'd stood me up, it slowly dawned on me that I was being stood up. I had Sigur Rós on the iPod, Viðrar vel til loftárása (just found out this means "Good weather for an airstrike" in Icelandic) (and the video is pretty amazing) and I was going to make myself a cup of tea to cheer up. As I was standing up from this horrible desk, I went to grab my phone without thinking. When I realised how pathetic I was being, I burst out crying. It feels good. I've also cried at two Phillip Reeve books (Infernal Devices and A Darkling Plain), the last episode of Battlestar Galactica, Monsters, Inc., Running With Scissors, Requiem For A Dream, Synecdoche, New York, and loads more I can't quite remember. I'm usually an emotional retard. Media gets to me, somehow.

Third. I'M TRYING TO MAKE MUSIC. But I usually fail. Even though I sometime get told my one song is alright. Myself and a friend, Jonny (not the same one I mentioned before), have pooled together some money and are buying a Korg Nanopad, a drum synth pad thing. It might work. So that's going slowly. We've done half a song, but we need a singer. Oh, and supposedly we're a noise band. Don't ask. A real drummer would be nice,  but from experience they're always fucking idiots who get in the way. Sorry for being mean, potential drummer, but you're probably annoying. So yeah, computers are the way to go.

Sorry for the absence. Twitter has killed this blog. I don't feel the need to write about things I can now usually sum up in a sentence. Which is wrong, of course. See ya.

We've got everything

I broke up with my boyfriend. Where I think Sigur Rós's Olsen Olsen flute solo is beautiful, he thought DJ Ironik's latest tune (complete with high-pitched synth voice on backing vocals) was the saddest, most emotion-filled song he'd ever heard.
So yeah, really not feeling that one. I let him down lightly. I feel no sadness, and for some reason am finding myself wanting the bastard ex back. You know the one I mean.

Jonny, a friend from Sixth Form, is starting a film project for his art course at uni, and of course has heard about my amazing acting prowess and asked me to be in it and also help with media type stuff. Sounds exciting. This said, we only have ten weeks to film what he hopes will be at least a forty-five minute feature. Ambitious, much? What helps is the premise: a mockumentary about a failed rock star. It has been done before, but he's got a ton of original ideas which should help. We're also going to record a couple of songs to act as a soundtrack. Lots of work, but sounds lovely.

Open the Floodgates

I live with my grandma. I've let you all know this before, right? My work's being especially harsh with hours, meaning basically I have none this week, again. Which leaves me a bit skint. So, she wants me to go to the job centre and get jobseeker's allowance. We went in the other day to ask about it, and you should have seen the state of the assorted dull-eyed chavs and their pregnant teenage girlfriends. I know that there are perfectly normal people who sign on for perfectly legitimate reasons, but seriously. These are the worst Carlisle has to offer (which, as you may have guessed, are pretty bad).

Did I mention I'm in the Crucible, at the Green Room? probably not. I should blog more. I'm playing Herrick, a character in the third and last acts who is pretty much just a drunk prison warden. I don't have an over-abundance of lines, but so many fucking stage directions. Oh, and I left my script in a pub after rehearsals last night, dammit. what was my point here?
oh! yeah! As the rehearsals are three nights a week, and then we do a full week's run at the end of this month, which doesn't really allow me to get a night-time bar job til April. And that's a shame, because it's all I'm good at.

Also, I need to find two monologues for an audition to Arden theatre in Manchester (look! my future!), one from Shakespeare and another from a post-1950s published play. I didn't quite read the last part properly, and started learning this from Mean Girls for a bit of a laugh.

I need to find a band too. Do I say I'm an indie bassist? indie seems to mean Coldplay and the Kings of Leon at the moment (they're terrible, by the way). alternative? alternative bassist? That doesn't sound right.

Don't bore us
Get in the chorus
Open the floodgates

We want the good bits
Without the bullshit
And no heartache

Hold on, hold on, hold on

No pain and
No suffering
And no one gets hurt

We absolve you
We absolve you
Open the floodgates

Hold on

Lotus Flower

I'm in love with this man. I find his voice and (Radiohead's) music the most beautiful stuff out there. How he can get so much emotion in his voice, and create powerful songs with simple guitar picking is a gift (do I sound weird?). I feel... lucky to have Radiohead.

Also, check out the zoom on that camera! I fucking love technology. That we can access music and share things and etc etc. You couldn't do this when I was a kid. And that was only like, 5 years ago.

Running With Scissors

Managed to watch it twice in under 24 hours. My dad doesn't get these sort of films. He has no appreciation for anything plot driven. There weren't any car chases or explosions, and that's where his interests lie. My mam on the other hand managed to get choked up and cry-y in all the right places. I was pretty impressed. I don't really want to draw up on the parallels between the characters in the film and myself and my mother, but "drug filled crazy woman has gay son" rings a few bells.

Tomorrow is Synecdoche, New York night. Hope for the best.

This blog's gonna get me in trouble

I love writing. If I had a tablet, or a scanner, I would hand write entries. There is nothing more beautiful than handwriting. Not my handwriting. Anyone's handwriting. Handwritten letters and poems are the best.

So, I've just watched Running With Scissors. It's quite similar to Synecdoche, New York, in terms of plot and structure. Not that either of these films really have a plot or structure, but the abundance of emotion and actual talented acting in both these films is overwhelming. Films seem to be the only things nowadays that make me cry. I guess I get sucked in by fiction. I've cried at books before, of course. I need to start reading again. If anyone knows of any other films in a similar vein to Running With Scissors and Synecdoche, New York, let me know. Hopefully one day I'll be involved in the creative processes of something similar. I need to start writing again. What the hell am I thinking with Lego? I'm thinking I might be able to create something trendy for my limited portfolio. I found a USB webcam today, even though the quality will be worse, at least it'll be more flexible than a lens attached to my screen.

So yeah, I'm feeling inspired. And I know it's almost 6AM here, and I'm up in a couple of hours, but it seems worth it. I'm having a good time with films at the moment. I watched Grave of the Fireflies this morning when I woke up. My initial reaction was "this is slow, this is boring". After it'd set in, I've realised it's beautiful. I like that word at the moment, notice? I'm hopefully showing my parents Synecdoche tomorrow, but I know, I KNOW then won't like it. They won't understand why I like it. They won't see what I see in it. But I don't care. They might like it. And it's worth a try, right?

Grace, thank you for getting me to watch Running With Scissors, finally. I keep getting inspired. That's good. Thanks everyone.

Opening scene?

Here's the opening scene, I guess. It'll be redone if I get a new camera. I'm appalled at how bad it all is. I spent over an hour on this as well. Oh, and I won't be able to film anything once I get back to the UK, as the Lego is all my brother's.

Basically, Mr Ginger Fringe Mob Boss is, for some reason, in charge, and has our hero captive. Over the course of the 8 second scene, he gets his lackey to shoot our hero in the face, then it goes black. I forgot to change the frame rate again, which is why it all goes mega fast.

So many technical issues, you have NO idea. Had to use an old DVD player and loads of VHS cases to prop the Lego set up in front of the webcam as it's inbuilt into my laptop. Then there's lighting. The only available light is a lamp that's way too bright and yellow. Which is why everything goes blue towards the end. Hard to believe that tiny video has 93 frames, right?

Well,

this'll have to do for now. If I get any comments, the word 'comments' gets in the way of the title for each post. I know how to fix this, but the thing won't update. Not sure why, really. But I like this theme. I've stolen it from someone else and changed it a little bit, and when I can be bothered sorting out Photoshop on this, I'll draw a new banner or something. I'm thinking of adding some light green to this, yeah?

I'm gonna go and do something and update later on, gonna try caring about this blog again!

If there are any problems be sure to let me know! exclamation mark!

edit: Okay, so I've done a bit of research on YouTube and my sea monster explode thingy was slightly too ambitious. I'm thinking of writing an entire script and doing a drama. Oh wait, with Lego instead of real stuff. I've also just found out that neither my parents nor my brother own a digital camera, so I'm limited to using just the webcam on my laptop. Ah well. I'll be back.

Fly Trapped In A Jar?

I've neglected the blog again! Yeah! Reading this blog always seems to inspire me to just bloody get on with it and type. I've had a draft blog post sitting around for ages with the title 'Childhood Books' which I really need to get round to writing. It'll be a good one, I promise.

Right, where to begin?

I'm in France at the moment, visiting parents and having a free skiing holiday. It's not all that bad. I'm not entirely sure where to begin, the mundane, tedious life of Carlisle doesn't really matter all that much. I'm not really doing anything. Work didn't give me any hours for the week before I left, so I guess my job's finished. Oh, I'm seeing someone too, but i'm very uncertain as to whether or not it'll work at all.

As anyone may have noticed from my Twitter feed this evening, I've started a project. A media project, if you can believe that. I'm finding myself with little to do on a night time here, as I can only sit in and lounge about.

Lego. Yes, Lego. And stop motion. You see where I'm going? I made a few of these when I was about 10, using a webcam. Hopefully it won't come out really childish. I'm sure I can keep some amount of professionalism flowing, though. I have no idea as to storyline or plot. I spent an hour slowly filming a weird sea monster thing climb out of a Lego sea. It doesn't look great. I'll upload it anyway. I'm going to change everything and make a serious drama or something, does that sound good? It sounds good.

So, this skiing holiday is a bit weird. Kit and all the boys from Brighton are here (his dad owns a holiday home here, friends with my parents etc.) (oh, and I drunkenly tried to kiss Kit once. That was awkward.), so I've been trying to ski with them. I'm not sure why, but this time I'm just better than them. And they sit about on the slopes way too much. I get frustrated. This is the first time I feel quite fit and active. Although I'm probably not. I've stopped snacking, and really feel like I'm exercising and stuff when skiing. And stuff.

There are these three posh lads staying in the village as well. I tried to socialise, talk to these complete strangers, let them know that they're allowed to talk to other English kids. Um, no. I thought I was withdrawn. These were social retards. Scary stuff.

I'm going to try redesigning this blog at some point too. I've come up with the crazy notion that "Fly trapped in a jar" is better than "a wolf at the door". Who knows? Might work. We'll see.

Oh, shit. I forgot to change the frame rate. Oh well. Pretend it's a little bit slower.

This blog is boring

I need to have more of a focus. This is pretty much just all look-my-life-is-average and nothing happens. I should do film reviews or something.

So, UCAS and LJMU have fucked me over slightly. I got into Liverpool John Moore's University last year, can't remember what course, but after the third time of me telling them I don't want to do the course, they still haven't cancelled my place. Which leads UCAS to deny my university application for this year, which leaves me screwed. I need to ring them on Monday, and get it sorted out. LJMU seem incapable of understanding that I need them to do something simple, or I have to take another year out. I'm not taking another gap year. This one has been terrible so far. I've done little to nothing productive.

I saw three bands at the Source last night.

• Black Jash, a Scottish angry sort of indie/punk band who didn't care how awful their instruments sounded. They got away with it, it was quite fun to watch. I doubt their studio stuff would be any good though. The singer left half way through, leaving the bassist and drummer to keep going with a weird sort of jam. I'm gonna assume drugs were involved.
• 3D Tanks, I was really disappointed with. My friend Mike, (who saved me from certain death by inviting me out) was completely in love with this band. All I saw were ugly 30-somethings with bad hair and no body fat playing instruments too loudly. Not impressed.
• Insect Guide were easily the best band playing. Even though the female singer's vocals weren't amazing, they were just brilliant. A level of professionalism that the Source is't likely to see again for a while. They were using a loop machine or something. They had bass and samples and everything. There were no gaps between songs. Everything about them was really, really good. I would pay to see them again.

Well yeah, anyway. I almost had to work today, then they changed their mind. Whatever. I need to do something with my life. I'm going to Edinburgh for three days next week, Tuesday to Thursday. Phil Hewitson says he'll help if I want to do any sort of film-making thing. Oh, and I auditioned for a part in The Crucible, by accident.

regret and that or not maybe i don't know

Sadako take 3

The third version of Sadako has no violin, but Karen's guitar is enhanced a bit. It still needs lyrics and I'm still waiting for someone to send me some!

Nice Dream (if you think you belong enough)

I'm lying listening to music, because I have nothing to do. I'm finding this happens a lot lately. I just wish there was someone here, now! This doesn't deserve a blog post, but there's nowhere else I can write: Facebook is too personal, I have a cold-hearted reputation to uphold. And Twitter, only 7 people could possibly read it. Here is alright.

Yesterday I spent a couple of hours with my friend Mike, playing a mixture of guitar, bass and drums. It was really good to jam with someone again.

Then I had my staff party, which was alright for a bit, until I realised I wasn't drunk, and everyone else was. It got a bit lairy. Not my thing. Went to Concrete to meet a friend, who didn't show. Went home with a headache.

Today I recorded a couple of things with Tom. For some reason, I can't play bass as well with him. He's on too high of a level musically, and expects more from me than I am capable of. What a badly constructed sentence, eh? It was a lot more comfortable for me playing with Mike. I need to join another band.

Tomorrow, Karen wants me to go over for a little bit to record Gentle Biscuits with her onto her new Boss recording studio thing. Sounds fun. I'm glad I've been doing music stuff, but I need to be better.

So anyway. I would like someone who I can lie with and listen to music and maybe even talk about music. Not meaning to sound like one of those fucking "music is my life xxx" emo sluts, but I'm getting there.

Podcast script?

I'm thinking of audio recording this and releasing it in podcast form, or something.

Jack Johnstone Well Avatar was a pile of crap.

Matt Adamson Out of interest, what makes you think that ?

Cameron Ellis yes out of interest?.. was it because their penis's wer covered by a bit of cloth?.. hmmm?

Jack Johnstone The effects and action were good, but the 3D was unnecessary. Everything else let it down, the acting, cliche plots, all that stuff. I was bored for pretty much the entire film.

Jack Johnstone oh and yeah because I just wanted to see blue alien penis.

Matt Adamson I thought the acting was good in it man and as it goes for atmosphere the films unparrelled.
Who didnt you like acting it it ?

Jack Johnstone Terminator guy was the same character again, Sigourney Weaver was a bit flat too. Can't really speak for the alien acting. Oh, and the army commander guy was annoying. I hated the lead character's backstory.
The whole redemption thing. Lame and overused. The whole thing was terribly predictable. Not one single plot twist.

Matt Adamson I can see why your saying that but if you compare if you watch both films there are differences. Sigourney Weaver i think did what she could with the role she had, i actually would of liked to see more of that charecter but i thought she was very natural in it, did what she could with what she had.
Storywise yes i agree with you its not entirely original but its an atmosphere soaked movie. I truly believe James Cameron once again has raised the bar with this movie.

Jack Johnstone The viewer really shouldn't have to compare one film to another just to make one seem better.
I guess the atmosphere of the film just wasn't for me. There was even a bloody training montage! It was a bit ridiculous in places for its amazing lack of originality.

Matt Adamson Is that not where people go wrong with films though ? too much comparing one film to another ? If you take Avatar as it is surely its a fantastic movie ?

Jack Johnstone It's Lost In Translation all over again. Everyone loves it = Jack hates it.
:P

Matt Adamson Your entitled to not like it, i wasnt that keen on Titanic but everyone raved on about it.
Ahh Lost In Translation, such an excellent movie.

Jack Johnstone get out. :P

Matt Adamson Goodbye to you sir ;)

Ben Herring So it's not worth seeing then? Oh and my mum hates Lost in Translation and I've never bothered to see it so it's not just you.

Jack Johnstone If you want some simple action with nice effects, go and see the 2D version. 3D was a waste.

Jack Johnstone English Language curse you!!
When the aliens shouted with cries of despair (in their own language), their cries started with the [n] phoneme.
When cheering, cries started with the [y] phoneme. It's such a surface level film it annoys me. They've blatantly not thought about anything.

David Wilson 3D was unnecessary? Maybe thats why you can go see it in 2D imax.
Sigourney Weaver was great!
Army Kernal dude was corny yes...but hey...
Can't say it was a pile of crap tbh...very well made film...really pulls you in...when a film is this good it becomes easy to pick out the bad bits.

Jack Johnstone I didn't like any of it, Dave. I was bored.

David Wilson ...fussy lol

Jack Johnstone It was just such a simple film. There was not one subplot.
The whole first half was omglookatthisspecialeffect and the plot stuff was lame and overused and and and I JUST HATE IT >:(

Ben Herring You know some films you should see if you haven't already? Watchmen, The Hurt Locker, District 9, Lost Highway (just some good movies that popped into my head)

Jack Johnstone District 9 is amazing, seen Watchmen too. I'll check out the others. Cheers.

Tom Moscrop I agree with jack tbh, as a film it's ok at best. works well as mindless action film, i won't complain about that but cameron used to be the most stylish film maker out there but this just seemed to be a turqoise firework show with recycled plotlines and no obvious character development. i can see why it's so popular though, very impressive visuals and some of the best action scenes i've ever seen, however, i feel cameron spent much too long on this movie and somewhere along the line just decided to go with a simple storyline in order to get his money back for all overpriced effects in the film. also did anyone notice how hypocritical it is to have a film demonising technology when it was made with the most high tech equipment around today? At the end of the day though if people enjoyed it then i guess cameron has done a good job somewhere. overall i'd give the film a 5 or 6 out of 10 for the visuals alone.

James Story well i may as well chuck in my 2 cents
Avatar is very good, whenever I hear about a film being a masterpiece or a classic or something on such a high pedestal, especially it being a new film, I very rarely get a true sense of why a film is seen like this while I'm actually watching it, perhaps I'm too young or simply desensitised to things but to be honest I don't hold Alien or The Godfather to an especially high standard based on how I actual felt watching the film, but now I'm blabbering on about a different matter entirely.
Back to Avatar, in terms of plot I'm fine with any cliches or conventions being used as long as it works in the film, and it all strings together into a neat little package in Avatar, but it did need something grander to connect with me on an emotional level.
Have to say a lot of the visuals are amazing. Even taking the 3D out of it (which I thought was a decent touch but not a huge draw for me, certainly not the reason for me actually going to see it) the sheer scale of the film is just on another level to what else is coming out.
And now the bad part, characters lack real depth and you can see their roles the moment you see them. (Wait a minute, you mean to tell me that the Government is.....the bad guy?)
That's the only bad thing I have to say really, because there really isn't really much wrong with the film. It's just with spectacular visuals should come spectacular storytelling and everything is just ....... good.
As far as a rating this film personifies 4/5 for me. (Quick plug for some apparently great films coming out as the tail end of 09/ start of '10, 'Precious', 'Up in the Air, 'The Road' and it's been out quite a while but I didn't see 'Milk' being brought up before.
Feel free to generate more podcast-worthy discussions any time Jack

Jack Johnstone Unobtainium.

[a long skype conversation between James Story and Jack Johnstone followed this comment]

Tom Moscrop tbh everyone who worked on that film designers, animators, developers have all done a fantastic job but it is Cameron himself that lets the picture down. it seems that he has gotten lazy in is old age deciding to go for simplicity in order to achieve the broadest range of appeal he possibly can. don't get me wrong, i have nothing against simplistic storylines but once a film is elevated in status such as Avatar was i become much more critical and demand that the film lives up to expectation and shows why it deserves such adoration, this is where my main problem lies with this film. Cameron said that Avatar was inspired by all of the sci-fi comic books and films he saw as a child and this clearly shows, every single cliche and steryotype is on display. there is literally no original ideas in the plot and creative structure of the film. it seems to be a beautiful frankenstein, composed of recycled portions of almost every science fiction works preceeding it. Ultimately resulting in a film that, as previously mentioned, looks incredible but has no emersive capabilities, it feels as though you are watching it, there is no feeling of inclusion. It seems today that most directors, once they get a big fat cheque, begin to slow down and start to go entirley blunt. Michal Bay proved this with his slow degredation from films such as armageddon to the recent Transformers: revenge of the fallen, a film which is, essentially, a boring zeitgeist of explosions and tits glued together with occasional images of the 90's favourite toy.
All in all These big budget films fail time and again to caputure any imagination but succeed in caputuring plenty of pennies for the fat lazy bastards who've forgotten why they wanted to be film directors in the first place. compare anyone of these afformentioned films to anything by Charlie Kaufman such as Being John Malcovich or Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and you will realise the true artistry in building and developing, which great intricacy, characters and storylines that breathe and fluxuate and form a real indipendent life of their own. Compare the character of Joel Barish, played by Jim Carey in Eternal sunshine, to Cameron's Jake Sulley from Avatar. it is lieterally like compaing Mozart to N-dubz.
Anyway sorry for the rant. just fancied getting distracted from an essay. Btw this is not an indication to avoid Avatar. by all means go see it, draw your own conclusions, just don't get lost in the light show.

Avatar

I haven't posted in a while, mainly because I have nothing to write about. I got over him for a while, then got sad again, then I'm back not being bothered. Not important. I had four or five people over on New Year's Eve, which was nice. Didn't get too drunk, was in bed by half three.

My work situation isn't great, but I did expect this. People aren't going to the pub in January, meaning I'm getting less hours at work. I almost had a whole two-hour shift today, but it was cancelled when they realised the pub was empty. Might get the same tomorrow. I really need to look for another job. It can wait til after my trip to France in February, right?

So, tonight, I decided to see Avatar. You really have to, when a movie becomes the highest box office earning film ever, and it is really this hyped. It was the same with other "amazing" films: Lost In Translation, The Dark Knight. Everyone loves them, and I hate them. I don't only hate the films because of the hype. I'm always disappointed by these films. Trying to view them without taking the hype into consideration, they're still not anything special. Lost In Translation is boring. It is not romantic. It is not sensational. It is boring. The Dark Knight is a gritty, edgy cop thriller movie with a sort of superhero and a couple of decent actors not entirely doing their best. Heath Ledger was good, yes, but if there wasn't already a Joker (Jack Nicholson) to compare him to, and if he hadn't died, not a great deal would have been said about his acting. It was good, yes, but it was mostly script writers and directing. That's how these things work.

Getting to Avatar. It was boring, stereotypical, and generally lame. That's pretty much it. It was trying to tackle environmental issues, but whatever. It sucked as a film. Waste of money. The 3D was a waste, it just ruined everything. If this film had had a decent script, it wouldn't have made as much money. Dumbing down for the masses and all this. I like this quote:

"Let me get one thing out of the way: for all the visual spectacle, it is categorically not a revolution in CG. It is merely exactly what we, in 2009, should expect to receive from hundreds of people from the top studios in the world working for years and at a cost of hundreds of millions of dollars. Nothing more, but also nothing less."

V Love Movies