I kinda find I like a life this lonely

Guys! I failed the audition spectacularly. Forgot my lines, mumbled a lot, and actually tripped over at one point. It was shocking. Perhaps more shocking, The Manchester College told us that they'd fallen out with Manchester University, who were previously funding the place and presenting the diplomas at the end of the course. So, after being kicked out of Manchester Uni, College ran over to Leeds Metropolitan University and now, I would have been awarded a nice shiny piece of paper signed by them. Which, let's face it, is a step down from Manchester University.  (I'm not denying that I'm probably not cut out for the Acting in Media course over there. It's probably a very good course. Just not for me. [Or anyone who ever wants a job ever.]) Oh, and everyone else did really grand, pompous Shakespeare speeches. I'm a fool for trying to find a character which would reveal something about my life, personality, whatever. There were some shockingly bad actors there, and I can't really say much because I forgot my lines. There were also some semi-decent actors there, who were all called back for a little interview at the end. And I'm not going to mention equal opportunities or anything, but...

And then there's this Radio Production And Media Studies course over at Chester University, Warrington campus. And as I'm interested in all this audio editing, live broadcasting and podcast stuff (although I've never actually done any of it), this course seems much, much more interesting and stuff. Stop typing stuff.

Pretty much since failing the audition (they didn't tell me on the day that I'd failed. I knew.) I've been doing pretty much nothing. Work have given me a free three-week paid holiday (not just me. all the staff. I just wanted to make it sound better.) so I'm going to TRY and buy a decent microphone and actually do something with all the spare time.

I'm going to do a review of an album soon. Be warned. This album has inspired me since I first heard it. Probably about four and a half years ago, I think. How To Destroy A Relationship by The Servant. Somehow, it's one of the few shiny albums that I haven't yet forced down my friends' throats.

I'm going to get my hair cut. I'm going to try something new and different. But I'll probably end up with the same hair again. Then I'm off to Glasgow with @OiCecil and @boojamin to see trendy band Crystal Antlers. Don't ask.

Tuesday

Although I'm likely to be sued for this blog post (I'm guessing somewhere in the £200,000 region), this is the extract from Chatroom which I will be auditioning with on Tuesday. Oh yeah! I'm going to Manchester, got an audition at Manchester college on Acting for Theatre, Television and Radio (sounds awful) and an open day at Manchester Metropolitan on Wednesday.

aha. I do not claim any ownership of this text blah and blah.
Jim is a troubled teenager who pretty much wants to kill himself, and goes to an online chatroom for some support. After some funny exchanges, a dude called William tries to convice Jim to kill himself. Laura is a girl who tried to kill herself a while ago, and has been trying to put Jim off the whole idea. Because, let's face it, it's pretty silly. This bit is basically William shouting at Laura near the end of the play. You'll be able to grasp the rest.

WILLIAM: You've tried to kill yourself before, but chickened out, haven't you? You think I'm going to allow Jim to be lectured by some whinging coward like you? Some New Age, happy-clappy princess? Jim's got real problems.
You're one of those sad girls who hangs out in suicide chatrooms. Who sits there like some black hole. All silent and dumb and soaking up the sad stories. Wallowing in other peoples' pain. What statement are you making, bitch? You talk about a life of possibilities, choice, love, happiness... but I bet you'd like nothing more than a bunch of sad, morose fifteen-year-olds draining on about their pathetic lives. Well, why not support those who want to kill themselves? Why not allow them to do it? They're like the front line, aren't they? The public face of our gloom, printed in the papers and shown on the telly! They need our support to do the brave thing - do the decent thing. To get rid of the chaff and make a true revolutionary teenager! So do the decent thing, you worthless cow! Next time, don't cry out to Mummy and Daddy! Just do it!

mhm, it's probably not long enough, but with enough dramatic pauses I'm sure I can make it work. The play is by Enda Walsh, and is an okay read (although at 38 pages and full of printing errors, I think £9 is a little cheeky).

My second monologue (I should have learnt these months ago. The audition is in three days.) comes from Much Ado About Nothing. I only found it tonight, so wish me good luck.

BENEDICK: O, she misused me past the endurance of a block! An oak but with one green leaf on it would have answered her; my very visor began to assume life and scold with her. She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the Prince's jester, that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs. If her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her; she would infect the North Star. I would not marry her though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed. She would have made Hercules have turned spit, yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her. You shall find her the infernal Ate in good apparel. I would to God some scholar would conjure her, for certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither; so indeed all disquiet, horror, and perturbation follows her.
Will your Grace command me and service to the world's end? I will go on the slightest errand now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send me on: I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furtherest inch of Asia: bring you the length of Prester John's foot: fetch you a hair off the great Cham's beard: do you any embassage to the Pigmies, rather than hold three words conference with this Harpy: you have no employment for me?

This is also slightly too short, but whatever...
Thanks for any Shakespeare recommendations, and I swear I really did try acting some of them, but I chose this as it's not quite as grand as other pieces (and here I'm talking specifically about the St. Crispin's Day speech) and it's comedyish and all that. yeah.

And we'll all float on alright

This was an amazing gig, back in December. We were standing right in front of where this guy's filming from, and you can't see any of us in the video! Ah well. This is one of the only songs where the crowd actually moved about a bit. It was really chilled until they played this, which was followed by Shit Luck. We started a mosh pit. How young and trendy are we?